questions

What is the deal with it? Why should words be embarrassing? Why is the very act of getting down words triggering such a huge amount of self-censorship? What is the exact attitude to it? Writers have to throw down tons of unimportant, irrelevant, impractical, banal, and uninteresting words all the time to clear out the system and allow the ideas that matter to arise. And seriously, who’s going to see it? And if someone did, who cares? Who are you worried is going to read, judge, condemn, ridicule, feel superior? And what does that matter? Even on-line, so someone reads something you write that’s juvenile or dumb or whiny or whatever; how is that so bad? What is so awful down in your core that can’t be allowed into the light of day? This obsession with hiding away is incomprehensible. I mean, you have like 10 friends total anyway. And none of them would be bothered by anything you would say or write or tell them, probably not pay any attention.

And others are as usual paying more attention to their own stuff to spend time critiquing your life. And what is posterity and perfection of image and why is that important to you of all people? How is that allowed to stop you from doing, writing, saying, expressing, attempting anything at all, especially when you consider you’re only censoring yourself from yourself? Seriously, why the big deal about this? And is it important, irrelevant, minor, major, inconsequential or what to get past it? Would it be helpful or just kind of fun, or mortifying or destructive?

And secondarily, what does that attitude, belief, feeling about life have to do with any other acts and impressions and ambitions you have or don’t? Is it the key to unlocking yourself? Is there a key for that? What self would you be unlocking and what would it mean? Is it possible to open the door on your own? Is it dangerous? Do you have to be brave?